Coming out the closet. Feels so good

Isn't it just the most magical thing? I truly try not to get consumed by the number, but damnit man, it’s a beautiful feeling. Besides what the scale says, the elixir of life is in fitting into something you once adored that you have since given up on. It’s in not feeling like the Michelin Man in your winter woollies. It is most certainly in someone asking where the other half of you went to. And without wavering doubt, in this “thread whore’s” life, it’s in tearing through your cupboard because nothing fits for all the right reasons. There is plenty coming out my closet, whether it finally fits or is just too bloody big.

My mission to blazing hotness kicked off in August last year, which is winter in South Africa. I felt multiple kinds of uncomfortable in my own skin, and with winter being the least flattering season out there it’s no surprise that I felt trapped inside my meat suit. As a result I made some changes and lost bucket loads of weight, and embraced a leaner new me. This new me is smaller, happier, comfortable in her own essence, and looks mighty fine in her chevron peplum top, or white skinny pants. All this in just over a year.

This winter I rocked out like a Kardashian on a rampage! I have worn an item that has been in cupboard, unworn and not even thought of in two years. First Hurrah! I fitted into my “winter wardrobe” better than I ever have, like better than when I initially bought most of this stuff. Which of course made me realize just how much denial I was in about my size. Yikes. Never the less, second Hurrah. And Third hurrah. I have this absolutely gorgeous jacket that I bought and wore almost to death, and I had not worn it in three entire years. This year, as you can I’m sure guess it was back on my body, looking better than ever!

It doesn't end there though. Seeing as I had shrunk to a note able degree, I figured it was time to take a stumble into the closet of doom. The one where nothing fits, where everything was bought for one day when I’m a skinny bitch, and the one that breaks my heart worse than any man ever could.  It is filled with amazingly beautiful dresses, tops and skirts in every style, colour and texture known to man. It is filled with my ambitions and goals. They are trapped, and its up to me to save them. So yes, these little stumbles usually only happen when I am feeling somewhat masochistic, and once I have summoned all the Dutch courage I can from a bottle or three of chardonnay. Despite going in armed with all my hope and might I normally get the thrashing of my life, a harsh smash from reality which leaves me wounded and on the verge of tears. However on this day, I went in sober and come out drunk on a sense of indescribable victory. For the first time I slayed the terror that arises from the cupboard.

In a majestic turn of events I retrieved over 20 items that have been hanging, waiting for me to one day show them to the world. Tiny pants. Tops in every colour that I can describe. Blazers. Things with frills. Things with flowers. Some that are even now too big. There are items that I thought were only ever going to be a fantasy. My favourite fulfilled fantasy is being able to wear a relaxed cream shirt which I like to believe would be seen on Kerry Bradshaw, I waited 2 years to fit into that baby. She finally came out of the closet. I will never forget the escalating rate of elation as each new item I took a chance on, fitted. Nor will I forget the complements I received when I wore something out for the first time. A true testament that I have worked my ass off, and am looking damn good for it.

Yes there is still a small truck load of clothing in smaller sizes left to go through, and get into, but when that day arrives I will wear each one with an unmatched level of pride.

I have passed my clothing that I have graduated from on. My “tight skirts” were fitting about as well as potato sacks. My pants looked like I needed a nappy change. And my shirts were living an empty life. It was time. I am confident I will never - as in ever - need them again. I am also confident that their new owners will graduate out of them too.

I say it every January (I think we all do) – watch me in December, going to be new levels of ridiculous hotness. Now no, I’m not getting ahead of myself, I might not be completely ridiculously hot, but erm f*ck I am damn closer than I was last year. This is going to be my hottest summer yet, and no, that definitely has no reference to the weather. Looking and feeling amazing in my threads aside, there is a rock star quality that is shining through, and well, you can’t hide awesome. I am going to rock -  the – shit – out – of – E V E R Y T H I N G!!!

As always I want to see exactly how far I can take this mission of mine, live the best life imaginable, see just how banging I will end up looking, and treasure every clothing size between now and then.