Moments of definition, joy and swearing.

mo·ment

  [moh-muhnt] noun

1.

an indefinitely short period of time; instant: I'll be with you in a moment.

2.

the present time or any other particular time (usually preceded by the  ): He is busy at the moment.

3.

a definite period or stage, as in a course of events; juncture: at this moment in history.

4.

importance or consequence: a decision of great moment.

5.

a particular time or period of success, excellence, fame, etc.: His big moment came in the final game.

This passed week has been full of moments, little fragments of time, the greater majority of which just snuck by me, and escaped into the abyss of every other moment passed. There were however a handful that really struck me in the most pleasant of ways. A moment remains just that until it is lived, felt, absorbed, remembered.

.:A Moment of Wonder :. 

Just before I got out of bed I felt I needed to address the sensitivity (understatement of the year) in my legs. I had killed them for a week, and payback was being a bitch. So I lifted them up, and silently said I was sorry. It was then that I appreciated that they are transforming, and seriously taking shape. Slimmer, sleeker, more defined. No they weren't perfect, but even in my more than half asleep state I was in awe. They are mine and this was the beginning of a beautiful love affair. Now be aware, I have always hated my more than generously proportioned Swiss German calves. Until one day I decided screw this, I quite like wearing skirts, and then out of nowhere I received compliments? My legs? These kick a ball to Cairo legs? And no, they definitely were not admiring my tan either. I was shocked to say the least. Having said that, the afore mentioned love affair is a big thing for me. My thighs, shit damn, possibly my proudest effort yet.

Then, while going about my morning whirlwind I did a double take in the bathroom mirror. Again not perfect, but when on earth did that happen? I've shaved off 102cm's in 8 weeks, and only now do I wake up? Yes I have noticed how differently everything is fitting, I have noticed gradual changes. This morning in particular though I was really taken a back. Everything has shrunk, and it could have been over night for all I noticed. The fact of the matter is that one day you notice that the person staring back at you has changed considerably.

.: A Moment of Weakness:.

One of my darling brothers had been up for a week long visit, and with him comes an onslaught and utter gauntlet of everything anyone eating as clean as I have prays to never come across. From little Kinder Easter Eggs, to a cocktail of cookies, and Whiskey. It is never pretty. My resistance is pushed to its max, although this time around I was quite surprised at how easy it was to walk passed and not be in the least phased by what he has to tempt me.

That is until I wondered how the chips and Fanta made into my mouth. No really, I was so incredibly shocked by this! Before I had even grasped what was happening, what I had done, what the crunch in my mouth was, I had a bottle of Fanta pursed to my lips, washing down Lays, with a semi satisfied smirk on my face. This was so normal for me at a time in my life, and yet now that moment of realization felt a lot like I imagine an out of body experience would. My higher self was frowning down, asking "What the actual f**k is going on here"?

I made it almost made it 7 entire days, before this little incident. Which is about 7 times my previous records. I can also go on to say that I had two sips of Whiskey, and decided it wasn't for me. Shock. Horror. Trips over jaw. I also had about 4 fries before I decided they taste like nothing and would be a pointless one way ticket to self loathing.

I'm totally human, and okay with the shit I caught on to. No one is perfect, and I am far from it. Point is, I saw the error in my ways and moved right along. I am more impressed by what I had overcome and recognized, than I am ashamed of my slip up.

.: A Moment of Adventure:.

I just don't do the out-doors. The bugs, Grasshoppers especially. The spiders (I can tell you many a story here). The fear of sunburn. The lack of 3 star and above toilets. The thought of being caught in a hill billy trap. You know, all completely rational reasons. So when people invite me to go camping or hiking I let out a scream of laughter, promptly followed by, No.

I remember hiking in high school. Heavy bag, two days of walking, and swearing, and not packing the right clothes, shoes, or food. Joy. I also remember being so freaked out by the silence that I called a mate back home and asked him to put the radio on so I could here music. Again, joy, and swearing.

So when I actually agreed to go for a hike, the person who invited me waited for a "Just Kidding". They never got it. Out of sheer bravery or stupidity I try everything once, sometimes more than one to cement what an idiot I an be. I agreed to a baby morning session, at Suikerbosrand, a nature reserve which I have been going to for many years, and enjoyed from the comfort of a car.

As always I never get the opportunity to ease in. I was pushed into the deep end, face first, hard and fast. Flat straights are for girls apparently, unadventurous girls. We went STRAIGHT up the first hill before my pre-workout had realised it was in my stomach. Joy, and swearing. De-ja-vu. I was hit by shock waves of realizations that yes, I can thrash the ish out of a workout, but hills will make me their bitch. After what felt like a lifetime of torture I decided it was time to retreat. I did not comprehend that getting down, made going up look like a walk in the park. Who ever said "Where ever you, be all there" was a hiker, trying desperately not to see their arse. Focus of a goggle eyed chess titan, let me tell you!

By virtue of me posting this, it means I survived this ordeal. I will be honest and say it was cool. I did not enjoy it. What I did enjoy though was pushing myself, and I have decided I will rehash this to continue doing so, and to build and work on my fitness goals. Who'da thunk it?

.: A Moment of Reflection :.

Suikerbosrand has this magical treasure of a "Tourist Route", a 60km route with the most amazing views, and a chance to see Zebra's, buckies and dung beetles (which make me wanna say "they see me rollin' "). The reserve is also now frequented by RUNNERS and cyclists, which makes you feel like a total douche in your car as you take in the scenery. I'm no where near that hardcore, so enjoy yourselves and shout if you need a lift. Toodles. 

With my legs still shaking, and Goldfish pumping in the background I was hit by more than a little nostalgia. A year ago I was miserable at work, had every excuse under the sun as to why I could not hit the gym, and actually just wanted a change. The last thing I would have done a year ago was take a trip up a hill, at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning. I would not even have done so for love or money. A year ago I wouldn't have dreamt of finding so much fulfillment in my swanky new current lifestyle. Never did I think I would go without wine and sushi for the length that I have (which by the way I would sell my grandmother for at the moment). And yet, here I am, having just hiked around 5km's give or take, I have hit my workouts like a ton of bricks, and achieved more in 2 months than I have in a lifetime of dieting.

Rather Ironically here is the Goldfish song playing in the background while most of this was cruising through my head.

Three Second Memory By Goldfish

(Lyric's by David Poole and Dominic Peters except Chorus by Marlena Shaw)

...Do you remember me

I don’t even know anymore and

I’ll tell you this for free

Something’s don’t make sense in the morning

Three second memory

Helps you to forget all the same and

Sometimes it’s what you need

To move on with life again

Life again, strife again

She rode off on her bike again

Perfect ten, never again

I don’t know quite where to begin

There’s evidence that ever since

She left perfume and finger prints

I won’t let you 

I won't let you won’t forget you... 

With all these moments, where is my here and now? I think its fairly obvious that there is a lot going on in my head. From goals I need to set, to ridiculous long term dreams that will get their own blog. That I seriously need to either have clothing items (specifically pants) taken in OR I need to hit the shops. Next 360XBT challenge is coming up, whoop whoop! Its a mess up there, which is not new.

A week or so ago I made a commitment to me, to the next year, to my journey. I'm quite chuffed with my decision to dive straight into the deep end. I've been sworn to secrecy (by someone else not myself, that would be weird) so I can't spill all. What I can say is that I am proud of the decisions I am making. I am proud of my journey, and my progress.

I have also made a promise to myself to not let so much slip passed me. So much of my life runs by with barely a glimpse. Its amazing how conscious I have become. How much more aware I am of things around me. Almost as though I am awaiting a new big moment.

Each moment if we really live in it, allows us to connect more with life.

What do you need to do to start living?
What are the moments that bring you to life?

Think about that for a minute.