This blog was initially going to be a write up delivered
from the dark and dreary edgings of my mind. The places within me I very rarely
admit to. The parts of me I have been addressing for a change. The passed
little while has been an emotional rough ride for me. Despite my often brave
face, and genuine moments of strength, I have felt incredibly uninspiring,
weak, a failure, not enough, and truly just emotionally overwhelmed. However,
quite fortunately I will spare you the details (for now). So no my darlings, I
have not fallen off the side of planet earth. I have not eaten my way through a
mountain of cheese burgers, or drank enough wine to float a cruise liner. I
have not been on a bar hopping excursion to Barcelona. And saddest of all I
have not met a rich ripped beast of a man who has kept me “busy”. Sigh. As dull
as it is, the reason for my absence, has been reflection.
Although thankful for feeling everything that I needed to
feel over the past while, I am even more thankful for my ability to flip the
switch. For my ability to draw the line in the sand. I simply could not allow
myself to be under the blanket of that emotional anguish any longer.
 |
| Yes, yes I am. |
But this is not an invite to a pity party, this is a
reminder that motivation starts with you. A reminder that sometimes you just
need to bitch up, and get on with it. So I did, I bitched up, and I can move on
to being fabulous again. I can move on to smashing workouts. I can move on to new
projects, and feeding my passions. I can move on to questioning my sobriety,
and just how drunk I was when I decided to enter the winter trail series. I
want the freedom to bungee jump for breakfast because I am under the weight
limit. I am in it for success, and to live a better life for myself than
previously comprehended. I can and will hold my ground, and persevere until the
day I live my best life.
Let me tell you something for free - you and only you,
will determine your success on this journey. You and only you will make a
decision to make what you have work. You and only you will put the work in, and
make it count. It’s so easy to say, no,
this doesn’t work, and move onto something else. It’s incredibly easy, but you
know what? And I’m sorry to have to tell this. If you really wanted results,
you should stop looking for the next thing (unless its 360XBT, that is worth
jumping ship for, trust me). Use what you already have to its absolute full
potential. If you can’t make this work, why will the next thing? Almost a year,
and almost 25kg’s later this is a message that ripples through me. Not because I
wanted to quit, but because I know how easy it was in the past to give up.
Change it up - sure, work smarter - sure, but before you say this is not
working, analyse why. Is it the tools – or you? Take a deeper look, and make a
choice to stick it out. Once that decision within you is crystal clear. Nothing
and no one will stop you. There will be no doubt or questioning
 |
| There is no weapon more powerful than the human soul on fire. |
As I said earlier, motivation starts with you. It starts
with that fire inside you. It’s the blaze that burns through every doubt, every
fear, and every moment of weakness. It isn’t in a constant stage of rage.
Sometimes it needs a little stoking. You need a little reminder of what it
feels like. I had lost it for a while, but somewhere along a trail run last
weekend, I awoke. I felt bulletproof, I felt that inferno, and I remembered the
level of tiger blood like passion.
Whatever you need to do to find it do it, but please don’t
go on a pilgrimage. Get your shit together and get on with it. The next person
who offers you an unmentionable eatable should be punched in the throat, and if
you say, “yes, no one will know” you need an even harder punch in the throat.
Say yes to crazy ridiculous challenges. When your mate tells you to sign up for
a 10km crazy-as-hell trail run, give in to peer pressure! If the wheels flew
off the wagon, and the horse has bolted, start walking, there will be another
coming (sooner or later). There is no magic rattle snake potion that will turn
you into an overnight gym thrasher, you need to find that within yourself, or
klap stronger coffee, that works too. Ultimately every answer you seek is
within you. I learn this time and time ago. You need to find that beast you’ve
got shackled up and set it free. You need to set yourself on fire, and
completely ignite every fibre of your core. There is no space of questioning,
no room for prisoners, and no space for slackening. Find that motivation and
hang onto it like it’s a winning lottery ticket, and then cash it in and change
– your – life.
