Magic and Wonder

It takes something larger than life to completely knock the wind out of me, and render me speechless. It takes something pretty damn crazy and radical. I generally scream louder than a teenage Bieber fan when I'm happy, excited or over the flippen moon. So speechless is a serious achievement. Two men, ( Carl Mason-

Liebenberg and Chris Walsh of 360XBT) did exactly that, with great success on April 10th.

My apologies to both of them for taking so long to write this piece of mind blown appreciation, but its taken than long for me to get my head and heart around it. You see the problem with a lack of communciation between those two elements means that it takes a while (and possibly a delicious glass of Delheim Cabernet Sauvignon) for things to fully sink in. Well sink in and actually write about it, which has been the more recent problem.

It's so important to believe and want amazing thing, but even the magic loving hopeless romantic in me could never have thought this up.

What happened? In a moment, my reality shifted, my heart lifted, my dreams prevailed, and a part of me was changed forever. 

I can not describe the feeling when I saw that. I have actually never felt it. A massive humbling cocktail of pride, elation, realness, euphoria, and absolute magic. Even though I've had some time to process this, it's still pretty surreal. I still feel like I'm wrapped in a cloud of Issey Miyake scented Candy Floss. 

If I look back I really am quite blown away by my progress and everything that transformed within me. I have never ever been this committed to anything for this long, or seen results like this. I've gone as far as saying this is the best thing I have ever done for myself. This has been boundlessly proven time and time again.

Three months of giving my absolute all afforded me more than I could have dreamed of.

And no. I don't mean just winning.

The thing is, I was just real, and being me. I was just pushing myself harder than I ever have. Going about my day to day. I never once expected that. Truth be told, when I started the program I just wanted change. I wanted to see a new face, and smaller reflection. If I have to think about why I started, that would need to be my answer. Change. As you know I had a mother of a Quarter Life Crisis . It was not pretty, there was so much inner turmoil I felt like I was drowning. There were  elements of my life that desperately needed changing, that I was devastatingly unhappy with. I needed new challenges, new thinking, new commitment, new passion. As it were I was looking in all the wrong places.

 Although 360XBT didn't fill in all the gaps, or make the complete changes I felt I necessary, it certainly ensured I realized my limits, and  gave me more perspective than I knew I needed. Its given me a sense of achievement, motivation and happiness that permeates throughout my life. Its given me a sense of self and personal growth that is all consuming. There is something incredible in finding strength within yourself that you never saw before, in seeing just how much you have changed.

I believed in magic, and that amazing things were possible. I stepped up, and made it count. I changed my head, my heart and in turn my life. Still a long way to go, and I feel like I'm only just beginning. Which is silly, I know. Ultimately though I now know what lies within me, and I know that I have barely scratched the surface.

Failure is not an option.

I’ll never forget the first time that question was posed to me. I had just started a business mentoring the success of others. It really made me think, it made me analyse my progress, and ultimately it shaped my thought process. I had it printed on my business cards, and I knew every time I passed one of those BC's on I would potentially change someone’s life; or at the very least their mindset about their own success.

There comes a point where we need to sit up and recognize that we are enough. That we have what it takes. That at the end of the day we matter, and are worth it. That failure is not an option.

This moment, may be fleeting, it might settle, and if we are really lucky it becomes who we are. If we are lucky we completely give in and let it consume us.

That said I've been asked a lot in the past week what changed? What got me here? What was the tipping point? It’s really hard to explain, but I committed to me. It’s not the momentum of results. It’s not the feel-good-post-workout-euphoria that feels like it’s in a permanent linger. It’s also not the endless rails of short skirts that are waiting for me.     Unwavering commitment is honestly the key that opened the tower and saved the princess. I committed to me. I gave my everything to my journey. I had blind faith in my "mentors" and I never held anything back. At some point along the way I realised I was worth it. That failure was not an option.

Another chapter out of my book of secrets is action. Please do not be fooled for a nano-second. Motivation and action very rarely come in that order. It’s all great, fare and well to want to get up and thrash a workout, but you actually have to get up and start. Get where I am going here?

 Action is needed before we can surpass anything, amount to anything, or change anything. It can be the tiniest inclination, or the decision that the buck stops right here. However it comes about; value that piece of self realisation as though it was a Louis Vuitton luggage set. 

Ask yourself some real questions.

You're inspired? Great, but are you motivated? Is what you want a firm belief within you, or just something that’s a swindling hope for the future? What will you give up in order to taste success?

Have you laid down the foundation? Or are you just scratching the surface?

Where are the goal posts? And this is a scary question. Are you the striker, or the goalie? Think about that for a minute.

Where is your fire? Where is your power? Where is the fighter in you?

Find it, all of it. That is what is going to change your life.

You have much to contribute to the world. You know what's in your heart. You know the passion that burns inside you.

You are worth it.

You are worth fighting for.

Believe it. Own it. Become it.

Crazy Dreamer

I remember being a little girl, probably around 5 or 6 years old. I had crazy curly hair, lively blue eyes, the imagination of Van Gogh, and every kind of stuffed toy, tea set, and doll a little girl could ever want to call hers. However despite my mountain of treasures, there was one in particular that I yearned for. At my tiny age and with spell bounding innocence, I had learnt what "want" was. What a burning desire was.

I remember lurking around the CNA to find my precious, peeping around corners, my little heart thumping in anticipation, and then being completely mesmerized when I saw her. Imagining how different my life would be if she were mine. Hawaii Barbie. Man she was beautiful. Long multicoloured hair, grass skirt, flowery garland, and every other element  Barbie had that fascinated little girls at that age. She was all my little heart wanted.

Not much has changed when it comes to wanting things in my life. I don't know half measures, so I want what I want with everything in me. Right now, I want bigger things than I have wanted in a very long time. I have a need, a passion, a goal, a hunger, a dream. A crazy, crazy dream.

I have been struggling so much with this blog, because this life changing realization leaves me both excited and scared. Completely struggling to articulate here. I watched this video and a little something clicked into place. I had long since recognized that this was a new venture I wanted to embark on. I came around and saw that it was possible, and knew this needed to be a part of this blog. This vid was a game changer for me.

Wanting more out of life is a natural human reaction or natural progression. Wanting extreme things, is well extreme. Wanting things pretty much out of your own comprehension, is madness. If your dreams don't scare you they aren't big enough right? Well, my dream is nothing short of scary. It’s going to take everything in me to push for it. Luckily, I have proven countless times over the past while and couple of years that I have the mind of a Nazi when it comes to focus on a cause.

I want to live a life of meaning. I life fuelled by passion, fuelled by life itself, by a dream to become a better me. I want to live a life whereby I am able to touch and transform lives. Help people attain and reach goals they never thought would be a reality. I want to live the life that I always wanted but never expected to be able to have.

This is coupled with the stark recognition that in order to completely meet and surpass every goal I ever set in terms of fitness and weight loss, I have to fall hopelessly and completely in love with this lifestyle I have adopted. I have to become it. It has become entrenched into every part of my being. I am very nearly completely there.

As a result future feels like it hangs in the balance. There is a duality in my head, half of me wants to keep in marketing and be the corporate bitch I have aimed for, for eons. Or go full on into Digital Advertising. Nothing would give me more joy 6 months ago than a Queen Bitch Exec Title. Then of course, there is the other half of me that wants to become a Personal Trainer, move to Cape Town, gaze at the mountain, and transform lives.

Yes, I just dropped PT up there.

Nuts hey?

And no, its not entirely new.

I say it often, I am an incredibly passionate, all or nothing person to my core, and every waking moment is spent on my journey. I am so consumed by it that it scares me sometimes. I can hardly remember a time when I was as committed to anything as I have to this. I want to grow and nurture that. I want to do for people what those who have held me up on my journey have done for me; I can think of no greater honour.

I think of the future and with absolute unwavering conviction I know what I want to fight for!

My crazy ridiculous larger than life dream?

Studying the following in this order, within the next two years.

Nutrition- Yoga - Personal Training

My current studies make me yawn, endlessly and uncontrollably.

Looking for schools for all of the above has brought out a blazing inferno in me that just isn’t being tamed, or put out.

I have an endless curiosity and I want to have the best understanding of Nutrition that I can get. I was a Wellness Coach for 18months, and loved the endless info and insights into the human body. It’s time to grow, and hone those skills in. Utilize them as a part of understanding one of the many aspects of my transformation.

Yoga and Personal Training have always been at the back of mind. They have always been there, but I never deemed either possible. Yes I do know exactly the kind of work and commitment it will entail, but I also know what my strengths are beyond any shadow of a doubt. I also know that the last thing this world needs is "another personal trainer". What the world needs is a PT who truly has her shit down, who has walked the road, faced the demons and came out on top. Who understands the elements needed to guide inspire and motivate. When I'm there I'll be able to tick all of the above off. My continuous strive to be the absolute best at what I do is going to pay off in immeasurable ways.

To be honest I remember bumping into an old mate of mine who; I didn't realise he knew other mates of mine who were trainers, nor did I realise he had studied with them. I had half jokingly said I would also love to be a trainer, and he said "You'll have a lot of work to do, but it can be done". If not, why the fuck not?

One day at a time is all it takes to make a life.

So, I want to ask you, how big are you dreams? How scary are they? Are you willing to go the distance for them? Do you have conviction? Do you recognize that motivation and starting don't necessarily come in that order?

I want you to think about the things that you have really, really wanted, and brushed off because you would be an idiot for believing it could work. How different would your life have been if you put aside self doubt?

What is that you want? When are you going to go after it with both hands and everything in you?

The above video, left me on the verge of tears, and riddled with goose bumps. It hit home in ways that I had never experienced. It shook me, it opened me up, and it has cemented within me. I have seen it before, but for the first time inside the depths of me I knew that the only thing crazier than my dream is not pursuing it.

I have grasped that at the end of my journey I will have a story of bravery, courage, and determination mirrored by few. That at the end of this I will want to devote my life to transforming lives. To showing people their own personal power.
If I'm changing my life, why stop short of greatness?