Coming out the closet. Feels so good

Isn't it just the most magical thing? I truly try not to get consumed by the number, but damnit man, it’s a beautiful feeling. Besides what the scale says, the elixir of life is in fitting into something you once adored that you have since given up on. It’s in not feeling like the Michelin Man in your winter woollies. It is most certainly in someone asking where the other half of you went to. And without wavering doubt, in this “thread whore’s” life, it’s in tearing through your cupboard because nothing fits for all the right reasons. There is plenty coming out my closet, whether it finally fits or is just too bloody big.

My mission to blazing hotness kicked off in August last year, which is winter in South Africa. I felt multiple kinds of uncomfortable in my own skin, and with winter being the least flattering season out there it’s no surprise that I felt trapped inside my meat suit. As a result I made some changes and lost bucket loads of weight, and embraced a leaner new me. This new me is smaller, happier, comfortable in her own essence, and looks mighty fine in her chevron peplum top, or white skinny pants. All this in just over a year.

This winter I rocked out like a Kardashian on a rampage! I have worn an item that has been in cupboard, unworn and not even thought of in two years. First Hurrah! I fitted into my “winter wardrobe” better than I ever have, like better than when I initially bought most of this stuff. Which of course made me realize just how much denial I was in about my size. Yikes. Never the less, second Hurrah. And Third hurrah. I have this absolutely gorgeous jacket that I bought and wore almost to death, and I had not worn it in three entire years. This year, as you can I’m sure guess it was back on my body, looking better than ever!

It doesn't end there though. Seeing as I had shrunk to a note able degree, I figured it was time to take a stumble into the closet of doom. The one where nothing fits, where everything was bought for one day when I’m a skinny bitch, and the one that breaks my heart worse than any man ever could.  It is filled with amazingly beautiful dresses, tops and skirts in every style, colour and texture known to man. It is filled with my ambitions and goals. They are trapped, and its up to me to save them. So yes, these little stumbles usually only happen when I am feeling somewhat masochistic, and once I have summoned all the Dutch courage I can from a bottle or three of chardonnay. Despite going in armed with all my hope and might I normally get the thrashing of my life, a harsh smash from reality which leaves me wounded and on the verge of tears. However on this day, I went in sober and come out drunk on a sense of indescribable victory. For the first time I slayed the terror that arises from the cupboard.

In a majestic turn of events I retrieved over 20 items that have been hanging, waiting for me to one day show them to the world. Tiny pants. Tops in every colour that I can describe. Blazers. Things with frills. Things with flowers. Some that are even now too big. There are items that I thought were only ever going to be a fantasy. My favourite fulfilled fantasy is being able to wear a relaxed cream shirt which I like to believe would be seen on Kerry Bradshaw, I waited 2 years to fit into that baby. She finally came out of the closet. I will never forget the escalating rate of elation as each new item I took a chance on, fitted. Nor will I forget the complements I received when I wore something out for the first time. A true testament that I have worked my ass off, and am looking damn good for it.

Yes there is still a small truck load of clothing in smaller sizes left to go through, and get into, but when that day arrives I will wear each one with an unmatched level of pride.

I have passed my clothing that I have graduated from on. My “tight skirts” were fitting about as well as potato sacks. My pants looked like I needed a nappy change. And my shirts were living an empty life. It was time. I am confident I will never - as in ever - need them again. I am also confident that their new owners will graduate out of them too.

I say it every January (I think we all do) – watch me in December, going to be new levels of ridiculous hotness. Now no, I’m not getting ahead of myself, I might not be completely ridiculously hot, but erm f*ck I am damn closer than I was last year. This is going to be my hottest summer yet, and no, that definitely has no reference to the weather. Looking and feeling amazing in my threads aside, there is a rock star quality that is shining through, and well, you can’t hide awesome. I am going to rock -  the – shit – out – of – E V E R Y T H I N G!!!

As always I want to see exactly how far I can take this mission of mine, live the best life imaginable, see just how banging I will end up looking, and treasure every clothing size between now and then. 

Confessions and progress.

I hope deep down you are as radically thrilled as I am to see this post. Unfortunately I haven’t been swept away by prince charming, but rather caught up in the Tsunami that is my life.

It’s taken me 3 months to write a new blog, and just as long to smash through a barrier. Not that I tried very hard to break said barrier, but anyhow, moving along swiftly…

In my absence I have written and not finished multiple blogs, thanks to my major squirrel brain issues. I have stressed myself into a coma (not really, but you know, close enough). I have written the most important exams of my life, they are the sheizze stirrers on the stress front. I have brought the dead to life in my own little make believe zombie apocalypse, and was social media diva and event assist to my first race - a Zombie Run. I met a devastatingly amazing man (strictly platonic) who has shown me a thing or two about the person I would want to share my life with, something I hardly ever admit to. An even more devastatingly amazing man returned home from London after 14 years, my brother, before you get excited. I have completed my first AND second Warrior Races! They have more than proven to be the most incredible things I have done in my journey to fitness. The last one especially reminded me of what a long effing way I have from that first slayer of a Trail Run (I still have a double holy-shit every time I think of that). 

I have also in the last month of my absence rekindled my love affair with - dare I even admit it - KFC. I felt like a dirty hooker with a bad smack addition every time I pulled into the drive through. You know it’s worse for you than herpes, but that’s not a deterrent – in the least. They picked the wrong time in this princesses life to re-launch the Double Crunch. Just saying. Stress makes me do majorly crazy things, but, luckily I have that shit under control now. There may or may not have been some Wine and Vodka involved. I’m not telling but you are welcome to crack a guess. I will confess to one lonely Long Island Ice Tea though. That isolated cocktail was a stark notice that having the liver of a Viking is no longer one of my qualities, my new found cheap-date-ness did make for a fabulous evening though.

Now now, before you think the world has ended and that I’m completely off the rails, a massive thing on the achievement aspect is that there was no Sushi or Pizza. That right there is two Mother Russia sized wins for me. Hoooorah! For those keeping track, that makes me over a year clean of Sushi, (before you tell me it’s healthy, I have my reasons here), and now 4 months clean of Pizza. Faith restored? Yes, I do believe so.

Some more reports to rescue civilization is that I have just completed an outrageous 21 day cleanse.

This is 21 days of:

-          No Alcohol

-          No Sugar (by choice)

-          No Caffeine or stimulants

-          Full Veganism

-          And daily Reiki treatments

 You might say kill me now… but I am done and I smashed the hell out of that cleanse.

Let me put some things into perspective quickly - Vegan day and I do not get along too well. I am the girl who: planned Bacon for breakfast on a Vegan Day; who put Honey AND Butter in her oats on Vegan Day; and who made an epic Vegan Day bread – with eggs in it.

As you can imagine, this 21 days of awesome is a ridiculous triumph. There were a few slip ups with butter, and there was a questionable wrap, but in my defense I may have starved to death without it that day…

No caffeine was just as interesting, I was yawning until 2pm on my first day, and felt very much like the zombies my race was planned around - brainless and blood thirsty. My first coffee after my cleanse came with the sound of little fat angels singing, it was all I never knew I wanted.

Aside from being the soul food I hungered for, the cleanse came in perfect time and was the pimp slap back to reality that I needed. It was about as subtle as a kick to the balls, took no prisoners and made sure I put an abrupt halt to the f**kery.

In short, what that means is that I am back on track. Back to thrashing workouts. Back to eating more spinach than Popeye. And back to kicking down doors and taking names.

It has been a while in that department. 

  

The shock to the system has clearly hit me like a double lightning bolt because this bitch is getting leaner by the day. It’s been an uphill battle to see the numbers drop, so imagine my minor shriek when I got on the lying tramp other people call “the scale”, and discovered that she had good news for me.

In less than a week of my mammoth cleanse I was ahead of where I was 3months ago when I started this mission. Winning – for - days! I am still steadily making progress in this little department, and am glad to be off the fence where that barrier was concerned. It took what felt like eons to creep passed 110kg’s but I am finally there. 

All in all there is progress in persistence, and even though there are moments of weakness and stupidity, there are always goals that need to be stalked until you can rugby tackle them and make them your bitch. Get on your goals like a Joburger on Ballito beach. Be  winner, not a whiner! Face new challenges with determination, and if you fail at first, don't let it be your last.

A year in the making.

Washed by a flood of emotions, and immersed by a sense of reflection I sit here thankful for taking a decision to make the changes I have. A year ago I started to right the wrongs of the past. I started living a better, healthier life. I took a decision to treat my body in a way I had never felt was necessary, with kindness, energy and passion for living. What I essentially did was start setting myself free. In a lot of senses and in retrospect, I gave up who I was.

The vodka loving party girl, and her false sense of happiness are no more. Shame. She was replaced by a Kombucha fuelled trail blazer. Someone who I much prefer. Yes I do still get down to filthy beats, and yes I do still venture passed the feather boa curtain of gay clubs, and yes, there is still the more than occasional glass of wine involved. But all in all I’m the furthest thing imaginable from the person I was.

Happier, freer, more passionate, more real, more vibrant. I have transformed, am transforming, I am becoming a product of my true destiny.

Today, almost a year to the day of starting me new life, I received pictures of me in all my large and in charge glory. I was a maid-of-honour-type-something at an ethnic wedding right before I got my game plan together. Although being happy for my friend, and despite being as loud and ridiculous as I was, I was dreading having so much attention on me. Being one of two “white chicks” in the entire joint meant all eyes were on me, and not the bride – no jokes. In part I realised I would have been happier being the smoking hot centre of attention at least, you know. *wink*

 

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!!

The difference a year, a mindset shift and 25+ kg's makes...

Needless to say, that picture almost sent me crashing off my chair. I’m not going to get into the nitty-gritty or self-loathing aspect. I will rather touch on the relief. Relief that I woke the fuck up, made a move and stuck with it. I am hopelessly thankful that I overcame myself, and got out of my own way. Thankful that I embraced my new lifestyle head on. Every other “diet” has lasted not much longer than 5minutes, and there have been a not so fabulous repertoire of them. I need to sit back and wonder what would have happened to my life if I continued the way I was going. Where would I have ended up, and much more trapped would I be? That said, an entire year later I am still going strong, and am a sheizze load closer to my short skirts and Zara dresses.

A year later I have a handle on my life. I am loving my fresh new vibe. Am so incredibly thankful for my friends in fitness. These are people who have come into my life, cheered me on, backed me up and seen me through some outrageous spats of language that would shame a sailor. I am klapping my workouts. If you have been following my blog since the tender beginning you will know I wanted to be a workout thrasher from early on. I am honestly quite impressed by the way I took that on and owned it. My ass is looking great, by the way. My efforts have seen me lose 25kg’s and win 360XBT Season 3. Both unreal achievements for me. I have wrestled my emotional emotions, and won. I get excited about mud races, and early morning adventures. I am ploughing through my “one day” wardrobe. You know the things you buy impulsively because if you lose 5kg’s you’ll fit into it. Right. I have a new vision for my life. I want to live a life I never realised I wanted for myself, and I nudge closer to that every single day.

I do need to get a tad sentimental here and thank a monumental man for my success. Carl Mason Liebenberg, I applaud you. Your vision, authenticity, fight for freedom, passion and unrelenting need to live a better fuller life has permeated through so much of me, and is the essence of who I am becoming. Your dream and vision to transform lives has been something I have been deeply thankful for everyday of the past 7 months. You have given me my life back.

Ahem. Brief moment of tenderness aside. I cannot wait for the next 12months of life changing, inspiring, courageous, outrageous transformation. I look forward to pushing my limits, living beyond my comprehension and becoming the best version of myself I could ever create. There is so much more available to you within in this life, and you are the only thing stopping you from experiencing it. Want more for yourself, believe you are worth it. Fight for that person inside you that you need to do right by. Accept challenges, accept the fears you have and transform them into triumph.

Give yourself 12months. Believe me, it goes by in an instant. See just how much closer you get to you a new you, to a you that you never for a second thought was within you.

Flaming motivation.

This blog was initially going to be a write up delivered from the dark and dreary edgings of my mind. The places within me I very rarely admit to. The parts of me I have been addressing for a change. The passed little while has been an emotional rough ride for me. Despite my often brave face, and genuine moments of strength, I have felt incredibly uninspiring, weak, a failure, not enough, and truly just emotionally overwhelmed. However, quite fortunately I will spare you the details (for now). So no my darlings, I have not fallen off the side of planet earth. I have not eaten my way through a mountain of cheese burgers, or drank enough wine to float a cruise liner. I have not been on a bar hopping excursion to Barcelona. And saddest of all I have not met a rich ripped beast of a man who has kept me “busy”. Sigh. As dull as it is, the reason for my absence, has been reflection.

Although thankful for feeling everything that I needed to feel over the past while, I am even more thankful for my ability to flip the switch. For my ability to draw the line in the sand. I simply could not allow myself to be under the blanket of that emotional anguish any longer.

 

Yes, yes I am.

But this is not an invite to a pity party, this is a reminder that motivation starts with you. A reminder that sometimes you just need to bitch up, and get on with it. So I did, I bitched up, and I can move on to being fabulous again. I can move on to smashing workouts. I can move on to new projects, and feeding my passions. I can move on to questioning my sobriety, and just how drunk I was when I decided to enter the winter trail series. I want the freedom to bungee jump for breakfast because I am under the weight limit. I am in it for success, and to live a better life for myself than previously comprehended. I can and will hold my ground, and persevere until the day I live my best life.

Let me tell you something for free - you and only you, will determine your success on this journey. You and only you will make a decision to make what you have work. You and only you will put the work in, and make it count.  It’s so easy to say, no, this doesn’t work, and move onto something else. It’s incredibly easy, but you know what? And I’m sorry to have to tell this. If you really wanted results, you should stop looking for the next thing (unless its 360XBT, that is worth jumping ship for, trust me). Use what you already have to its absolute full potential. If you can’t make this work, why will the next thing? Almost a year, and almost 25kg’s later this is a message that ripples through me. Not because I wanted to quit, but because I know how easy it was in the past to give up. Change it up - sure, work smarter - sure, but before you say this is not working, analyse why. Is it the tools – or you? Take a deeper look, and make a choice to stick it out. Once that decision within you is crystal clear. Nothing and no one will stop you. There will be no doubt or questioning

There is no weapon more powerful than the human soul on fire.

As I said earlier, motivation starts with you. It starts with that fire inside you. It’s the blaze that burns through every doubt, every fear, and every moment of weakness. It isn’t in a constant stage of rage. Sometimes it needs a little stoking. You need a little reminder of what it feels like. I had lost it for a while, but somewhere along a trail run last weekend, I awoke. I felt bulletproof, I felt that inferno, and I remembered the level of tiger blood like passion.

Whatever you need to do to find it do it, but please don’t go on a pilgrimage. Get your shit together and get on with it. The next person who offers you an unmentionable eatable should be punched in the throat, and if you say, “yes, no one will know” you need an even harder punch in the throat. Say yes to crazy ridiculous challenges. When your mate tells you to sign up for a 10km crazy-as-hell trail run, give in to peer pressure! If the wheels flew off the wagon, and the horse has bolted, start walking, there will be another coming (sooner or later). There is no magic rattle snake potion that will turn you into an overnight gym thrasher, you need to find that within yourself, or klap stronger coffee, that works too. Ultimately every answer you seek is within you. I learn this time and time ago. You need to find that beast you’ve got shackled up and set it free. You need to set yourself on fire, and completely ignite every fibre of your core. There is no space of questioning, no room for prisoners, and no space for slackening. Find that motivation and hang onto it like it’s a winning lottery ticket, and then cash it in and change – your – life.

Magic and Wonder

It takes something larger than life to completely knock the wind out of me, and render me speechless. It takes something pretty damn crazy and radical. I generally scream louder than a teenage Bieber fan when I'm happy, excited or over the flippen moon. So speechless is a serious achievement. Two men, ( Carl Mason-

Liebenberg and Chris Walsh of 360XBT) did exactly that, with great success on April 10th.

My apologies to both of them for taking so long to write this piece of mind blown appreciation, but its taken than long for me to get my head and heart around it. You see the problem with a lack of communciation between those two elements means that it takes a while (and possibly a delicious glass of Delheim Cabernet Sauvignon) for things to fully sink in. Well sink in and actually write about it, which has been the more recent problem.

It's so important to believe and want amazing thing, but even the magic loving hopeless romantic in me could never have thought this up.

What happened? In a moment, my reality shifted, my heart lifted, my dreams prevailed, and a part of me was changed forever. 

I can not describe the feeling when I saw that. I have actually never felt it. A massive humbling cocktail of pride, elation, realness, euphoria, and absolute magic. Even though I've had some time to process this, it's still pretty surreal. I still feel like I'm wrapped in a cloud of Issey Miyake scented Candy Floss. 

If I look back I really am quite blown away by my progress and everything that transformed within me. I have never ever been this committed to anything for this long, or seen results like this. I've gone as far as saying this is the best thing I have ever done for myself. This has been boundlessly proven time and time again.

Three months of giving my absolute all afforded me more than I could have dreamed of.

And no. I don't mean just winning.

The thing is, I was just real, and being me. I was just pushing myself harder than I ever have. Going about my day to day. I never once expected that. Truth be told, when I started the program I just wanted change. I wanted to see a new face, and smaller reflection. If I have to think about why I started, that would need to be my answer. Change. As you know I had a mother of a Quarter Life Crisis . It was not pretty, there was so much inner turmoil I felt like I was drowning. There were  elements of my life that desperately needed changing, that I was devastatingly unhappy with. I needed new challenges, new thinking, new commitment, new passion. As it were I was looking in all the wrong places.

 Although 360XBT didn't fill in all the gaps, or make the complete changes I felt I necessary, it certainly ensured I realized my limits, and  gave me more perspective than I knew I needed. Its given me a sense of achievement, motivation and happiness that permeates throughout my life. Its given me a sense of self and personal growth that is all consuming. There is something incredible in finding strength within yourself that you never saw before, in seeing just how much you have changed.

I believed in magic, and that amazing things were possible. I stepped up, and made it count. I changed my head, my heart and in turn my life. Still a long way to go, and I feel like I'm only just beginning. Which is silly, I know. Ultimately though I now know what lies within me, and I know that I have barely scratched the surface.

Failure is not an option.

I’ll never forget the first time that question was posed to me. I had just started a business mentoring the success of others. It really made me think, it made me analyse my progress, and ultimately it shaped my thought process. I had it printed on my business cards, and I knew every time I passed one of those BC's on I would potentially change someone’s life; or at the very least their mindset about their own success.

There comes a point where we need to sit up and recognize that we are enough. That we have what it takes. That at the end of the day we matter, and are worth it. That failure is not an option.

This moment, may be fleeting, it might settle, and if we are really lucky it becomes who we are. If we are lucky we completely give in and let it consume us.

That said I've been asked a lot in the past week what changed? What got me here? What was the tipping point? It’s really hard to explain, but I committed to me. It’s not the momentum of results. It’s not the feel-good-post-workout-euphoria that feels like it’s in a permanent linger. It’s also not the endless rails of short skirts that are waiting for me.     Unwavering commitment is honestly the key that opened the tower and saved the princess. I committed to me. I gave my everything to my journey. I had blind faith in my "mentors" and I never held anything back. At some point along the way I realised I was worth it. That failure was not an option.

Another chapter out of my book of secrets is action. Please do not be fooled for a nano-second. Motivation and action very rarely come in that order. It’s all great, fare and well to want to get up and thrash a workout, but you actually have to get up and start. Get where I am going here?

 Action is needed before we can surpass anything, amount to anything, or change anything. It can be the tiniest inclination, or the decision that the buck stops right here. However it comes about; value that piece of self realisation as though it was a Louis Vuitton luggage set. 

Ask yourself some real questions.

You're inspired? Great, but are you motivated? Is what you want a firm belief within you, or just something that’s a swindling hope for the future? What will you give up in order to taste success?

Have you laid down the foundation? Or are you just scratching the surface?

Where are the goal posts? And this is a scary question. Are you the striker, or the goalie? Think about that for a minute.

Where is your fire? Where is your power? Where is the fighter in you?

Find it, all of it. That is what is going to change your life.

You have much to contribute to the world. You know what's in your heart. You know the passion that burns inside you.

You are worth it.

You are worth fighting for.

Believe it. Own it. Become it.

Crazy Dreamer

I remember being a little girl, probably around 5 or 6 years old. I had crazy curly hair, lively blue eyes, the imagination of Van Gogh, and every kind of stuffed toy, tea set, and doll a little girl could ever want to call hers. However despite my mountain of treasures, there was one in particular that I yearned for. At my tiny age and with spell bounding innocence, I had learnt what "want" was. What a burning desire was.

I remember lurking around the CNA to find my precious, peeping around corners, my little heart thumping in anticipation, and then being completely mesmerized when I saw her. Imagining how different my life would be if she were mine. Hawaii Barbie. Man she was beautiful. Long multicoloured hair, grass skirt, flowery garland, and every other element  Barbie had that fascinated little girls at that age. She was all my little heart wanted.

Not much has changed when it comes to wanting things in my life. I don't know half measures, so I want what I want with everything in me. Right now, I want bigger things than I have wanted in a very long time. I have a need, a passion, a goal, a hunger, a dream. A crazy, crazy dream.

I have been struggling so much with this blog, because this life changing realization leaves me both excited and scared. Completely struggling to articulate here. I watched this video and a little something clicked into place. I had long since recognized that this was a new venture I wanted to embark on. I came around and saw that it was possible, and knew this needed to be a part of this blog. This vid was a game changer for me.

Wanting more out of life is a natural human reaction or natural progression. Wanting extreme things, is well extreme. Wanting things pretty much out of your own comprehension, is madness. If your dreams don't scare you they aren't big enough right? Well, my dream is nothing short of scary. It’s going to take everything in me to push for it. Luckily, I have proven countless times over the past while and couple of years that I have the mind of a Nazi when it comes to focus on a cause.

I want to live a life of meaning. I life fuelled by passion, fuelled by life itself, by a dream to become a better me. I want to live a life whereby I am able to touch and transform lives. Help people attain and reach goals they never thought would be a reality. I want to live the life that I always wanted but never expected to be able to have.

This is coupled with the stark recognition that in order to completely meet and surpass every goal I ever set in terms of fitness and weight loss, I have to fall hopelessly and completely in love with this lifestyle I have adopted. I have to become it. It has become entrenched into every part of my being. I am very nearly completely there.

As a result future feels like it hangs in the balance. There is a duality in my head, half of me wants to keep in marketing and be the corporate bitch I have aimed for, for eons. Or go full on into Digital Advertising. Nothing would give me more joy 6 months ago than a Queen Bitch Exec Title. Then of course, there is the other half of me that wants to become a Personal Trainer, move to Cape Town, gaze at the mountain, and transform lives.

Yes, I just dropped PT up there.

Nuts hey?

And no, its not entirely new.

I say it often, I am an incredibly passionate, all or nothing person to my core, and every waking moment is spent on my journey. I am so consumed by it that it scares me sometimes. I can hardly remember a time when I was as committed to anything as I have to this. I want to grow and nurture that. I want to do for people what those who have held me up on my journey have done for me; I can think of no greater honour.

I think of the future and with absolute unwavering conviction I know what I want to fight for!

My crazy ridiculous larger than life dream?

Studying the following in this order, within the next two years.

Nutrition- Yoga - Personal Training

My current studies make me yawn, endlessly and uncontrollably.

Looking for schools for all of the above has brought out a blazing inferno in me that just isn’t being tamed, or put out.

I have an endless curiosity and I want to have the best understanding of Nutrition that I can get. I was a Wellness Coach for 18months, and loved the endless info and insights into the human body. It’s time to grow, and hone those skills in. Utilize them as a part of understanding one of the many aspects of my transformation.

Yoga and Personal Training have always been at the back of mind. They have always been there, but I never deemed either possible. Yes I do know exactly the kind of work and commitment it will entail, but I also know what my strengths are beyond any shadow of a doubt. I also know that the last thing this world needs is "another personal trainer". What the world needs is a PT who truly has her shit down, who has walked the road, faced the demons and came out on top. Who understands the elements needed to guide inspire and motivate. When I'm there I'll be able to tick all of the above off. My continuous strive to be the absolute best at what I do is going to pay off in immeasurable ways.

To be honest I remember bumping into an old mate of mine who; I didn't realise he knew other mates of mine who were trainers, nor did I realise he had studied with them. I had half jokingly said I would also love to be a trainer, and he said "You'll have a lot of work to do, but it can be done". If not, why the fuck not?

One day at a time is all it takes to make a life.

So, I want to ask you, how big are you dreams? How scary are they? Are you willing to go the distance for them? Do you have conviction? Do you recognize that motivation and starting don't necessarily come in that order?

I want you to think about the things that you have really, really wanted, and brushed off because you would be an idiot for believing it could work. How different would your life have been if you put aside self doubt?

What is that you want? When are you going to go after it with both hands and everything in you?

The above video, left me on the verge of tears, and riddled with goose bumps. It hit home in ways that I had never experienced. It shook me, it opened me up, and it has cemented within me. I have seen it before, but for the first time inside the depths of me I knew that the only thing crazier than my dream is not pursuing it.

I have grasped that at the end of my journey I will have a story of bravery, courage, and determination mirrored by few. That at the end of this I will want to devote my life to transforming lives. To showing people their own personal power.
If I'm changing my life, why stop short of greatness?