Quarter Life Crisis

Three words, spoken in jest. Three words, I have let define me. Three words that have for the first time allowed me to consider myself neurotic. Yes, me the couldn't be more switched on, more focused, or more driven, has now been pimp smacked down to neurotic. I seem to have reached a plateau in my life where each day both fuses with the next, and is exactly like the last. I want more, but I don't know how or where to get it.

For those un-in-the-know, QLC is a term coined for people in their mid twenties who simply put feel they have missed the boat. Right now I feel like I'm on a leaky paddle boat with only one ore. Trying desperately to reach the horizon which the boat is nestling on.

There is an anxiety that will not let me go. That is drowning me. That has deflated my water wings. It's all consuming. I had expected to have so much more of my s**t together by now. Like a lot more.

I will save myself the shame of listing everything that seems to be going wrong or is incomplete. I will also save you the vomit inducing trauma of everything that appears to be going right. Yes there are things going right, but its far from the tipping point. I feel. 

I am very nearly two whole months away from my next birthday. I can't get much more in check by then. I can however choose to see this over dramatized saga differently. Acceptance is a beautiful ritual, but that's in no way who I am. I need passion, triumph, and success, I crave it. As a result. Or as of right now. I will step out of my own way, dive into my own happiness, wrestle the Sirens, and then chill on the shore (with a cocktail, and possibly a Thai masseuse).

New game plan under construction. Revolutionary woman in the making. Captain of the QLC cruise ship.