Short and sweet.

My mind said yes. My heart said no. My mind said CAAAAKE. My heart said, only if it's those sinful cupcakes you could easily marry. Who was I to argue?

Yes. This is the hormonal binge that I endure, you know for a few days a month. That is the conversation that rattles on inside my head. The entire week I've wanted to smash anything, and everything chocolate in my face. Even more so if it was dipped in caramel. No, not preggers, but can you imagine if I was?

Today I caved. After 4 months of  clean eating, and 2 solid months of taking no prisoners. I bought the sinful cupcakes. Devoured one, and felt that instant nauseating cocktail of regret, sickening sweetness, carbs, and a preference to barf. I could actually have done with just one bite. Or a date (the fruit kind).

Moment over.

What have I done? I've realized this is not me anymore. I've realized my tastes have changed but my head is still not with the new program. My hormones are the devil. My will power is not up to standard. Cup cakes suck so much right now, on a number of levels.

As I stumble, I gain new strength. May this be a lesson, and a reminder of how much I have progressed. A realization that there is no going back. A promise to keep going.

I'm not proud, but I am honest. I fucken love cupcakes, BUT only the thought of them now.

PaleOMG

Celebration, success, and ticked off goals. Hallelujah. Feeling like a million bucks. I'm happier, and more energetic (my friends never knew that was possible). It's like my tail feathers are shaking themselves.

All thanks to Paleo. Yes. One tiny little word, which in short means Eat Real Food. Simple yes?

It may have been only three months, but I am an almost completely devout Paleoist. I shudder at the thought of deep fried anything. I am less than mildly turned on at the thought of Pizza. Ice Cream however will always make me weak at the knee's, which is nothing compared to the euphoria, and butterflies associated with Paleo Brownies. Yes I know there is more to Paleo than that.

I know this is terribly cliched, but it is a lifestyle change. A conscious decision to free myself from my old scoff anything without consideration ways. To want the best things available able for myself. To want to be an example to others on a similar path. To experiment, and find new things that work in my life. To change. To grow. To surpass my own expectations. Am I completely reformed? No. Will I be? Yes.

What I have decided to do is share 3 of the most life changing, mind blowing, how-can-this-be-healthy recipes that have gotten me to, and passed my first goal. All these are simple to make. Real as can be. Epic winners, that taste like success.

Moroccan Spiced Chicken Stack

Shut the front door good!

http://eatclean.co.za/2013/03/28/morroccan-spiced-chicken/

Paleo Chocolate Mousse

Comprised of the 3 ingredients, tastes like angelic love.

http://fitphatflourishing.blogspot.com/2013/07/chocolate-mousse.html?m=1

Primal Moussaka

Un-frikken-believable, if you aren't unmarried, this will get a ring on it.

I replaced Yogurt with Coconut Milk, and Cheese with Mock Parmesan.

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-moussaka/#axzz2kPmh8o5P

Warning: Shameless punt ahead. For more recipes, check out my Pinterest Boards.

Paleo Breakfasts: http://www.pinterest.com/michpearl/paleo-breakfasts/
Paleo Treats: http://www.pinterest.com/michpearl/paleo-treats/
Paleo Yumminess: http://www.pinterest.com/michpearl/paleo-yumminess/

Try, enjoy, and remember to always keep it real! 

Quarter Life Crisis

Three words, spoken in jest. Three words, I have let define me. Three words that have for the first time allowed me to consider myself neurotic. Yes, me the couldn't be more switched on, more focused, or more driven, has now been pimp smacked down to neurotic. I seem to have reached a plateau in my life where each day both fuses with the next, and is exactly like the last. I want more, but I don't know how or where to get it.

For those un-in-the-know, QLC is a term coined for people in their mid twenties who simply put feel they have missed the boat. Right now I feel like I'm on a leaky paddle boat with only one ore. Trying desperately to reach the horizon which the boat is nestling on.

There is an anxiety that will not let me go. That is drowning me. That has deflated my water wings. It's all consuming. I had expected to have so much more of my s**t together by now. Like a lot more.

I will save myself the shame of listing everything that seems to be going wrong or is incomplete. I will also save you the vomit inducing trauma of everything that appears to be going right. Yes there are things going right, but its far from the tipping point. I feel. 

I am very nearly two whole months away from my next birthday. I can't get much more in check by then. I can however choose to see this over dramatized saga differently. Acceptance is a beautiful ritual, but that's in no way who I am. I need passion, triumph, and success, I crave it. As a result. Or as of right now. I will step out of my own way, dive into my own happiness, wrestle the Sirens, and then chill on the shore (with a cocktail, and possibly a Thai masseuse).

New game plan under construction. Revolutionary woman in the making. Captain of the QLC cruise ship.